Strange Feel

In a sudden, i felt spiritually empty.
It happened after i finish watched the Bleach anime episodes.
The main character, Ichigo finally defeat Aizen.
I've been hid my eagerness of watching this anime episodes for few months.
After then, in today, the end of my degree level one semester one exam, i decided for finish it off.
In the end, i completed it.

I laid on the sofa.
Looking at the white walls around me.
Under a very quiet environment.
Brain is blank.
In a sudden, i felt my heart is empty

I can't have the reason for why
Because i don't even have the intention to think anything

While staring on the books besides me, it reminded me of how long i been stay together with them
And now,
Huuuu...
I don't know.
Everything comes and goes silently.

I felt powerless.
I need a rest.
I need to seek for new motivation.
Exactly.
I need a new pusher.

It seems whenever i had accomplished one thing, i will certainly miss on the process
But once after that part, empty find me once again.

Hehe. I don't know what am i writing here.
This is the worst ever post i been published.
Anyway, if you don't understand, ignore it.
Thanks

In a sudden

I'm going to begin this post with the title name

In a sudden, i addicted to the song named " What are words "
Today, i totally listen to that song for twenty times or maybe even more
I kinda of admire on his sing talent and his faithful to his beloved

Unfortunately, his disqualified from American Idol.
I'm not a typical American Idol fans.
I found his video clip via Youtube.
I was instantly love to listen that song.
Please guys / gals...
Send your blessing to him and his fiancé.

I love his quote.

 "What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?" 

Are you?


Hehe...
This is my first time of being so supportive a man who i never know.
Please send him some sincere bless in your heart if you felt sympathize with his experience with his beloved

Good Luck. I believes Miracle will happens. This is why life being so interesting.

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Tomorrow will become my last exam papers.
It also the paper which require the most memorizing.
My head getting bigger and bigger for inserting this large quantities of terms
Huhuhuhu.. Time's to sleep.
Wake up in early and fight for it.
In the end, let's make the outcome comes along with joy.
In the next day, let's go for the gathering.
I'm coming.
Either to the gathering and my sweet home.
Beloved sister ... Haha i think you will not read what I've written here.
Prepare the racket ... Your big bro will achieve his promises this time.
He 'll play badminton with you, without excuses this time.

Last Declare

Finally, today, i can finally declare the truth.
In the beginning, it's really hard to accept the truth.
But still, we managed to develop into a better relationship.
Eventually, it did came to the end in past few months.
At that particular time, i not prepared to declare this statement.
Since you will never ever give me another opportunity.
Thus, now,me, Crank Leow, is declaring that the struggle within my heart is over.

Well.
Sincerely, i really thanks to you for giving me such experience.
Even during the progression,  there were lots of difficulties and struggles.
But we do have a great memory, aren't you?
It would deeply memorized into part of my life.
However, these memories not really too awesome yet i not manged to offer a better one.
But, i did hope you enjoyed the everything i gave to you.
Those memories had put a perfect full stop for the end of our relationship.
It was quite unfortunate that we can't develop into further relationship.
But since that was fated, both of us had to accept it.
You're handling this very well recently, its far better than i am.
I really proud of you.
And i admitted, you're a good gal.
You have good taking cares on your family, and great considering on facts.
In short, don't put self too much struggle.
Just being yourself.
You had the charm smile, and cold hands.
Furthermore, because of you, i having my first time of realized that there's someone who did missed me so much (exclude my sister)
You hug me so tight and i can feel my shoulder wet in the same time.
Besides, i used my fingers to draw the tears smoothly off your face
And,
That was the last time we met.
Do you still remembered it?

Well
Sincerely, the purpose of re-opening my Facebook is hoping to get into next relationship
But after i did taking some consideration, i would like to declare another thing.
It is : i will not involve into next relationship.
It's not about you; but i can't pass through the obstacle within my heart.
These obstacles are totally about what capable i offer to my beloved.
I did told you before.
Hopefully you still remembered it.

3rd declaration, i enjoyed with my single life.

Friends keep asking me to re-open my Facebook account .
But the more they ask, i felt like being positioned in the center of the sea.
I really don't find a way to have a direction to go.
Because I've stick along with one question yet.
For a man, i should not felt struggle especially in making such easy choice.
So? Still... What should i do !?
Huhu...
A long breath doesn't putting me into ease.

Well.
Later about 11a.m.  i have an exam to attend.
Unfortunately, in this late 3 a.m. i unable to felt into asleep.
This wonder taking me so hard.
I can't hold it anymore, thereby, this is why this post kick off.

Why would a complicated thought always keeping me energized?
Isn't it suppose to make people felt more tired?
Damn !

By this way, i shall taking my time for extra revision.
But, i having much confidence on handling coming exam questions.
So if i did that, without enough rest, my mental would gone crash.
Maybe during the exam, i might not perform with the best due to physical fatigue and bad mental condition as well

Perhaps, i hope i have the sleeping pills right now.
I never eat pills if it is not necessary.
Some one told me , eating too much pills making you becoming unhealthy.
Therefore, she always do her best to avoid eating pills.
Huh? Why i suddenly divert into that call?

Huhuhu...
Problem stay still ?
Facebook Account ___ ON / OFF ? ___
Fine... Sleep st.
Finish this 2 weeks exam st.
Then, just begin to think about it.

Well. Without Facebook, i rue missed the Java exercise which passing around by friends to friends via Facebook.
I think i might even failed with this subject and have to re-take the exam.
Re-take it won't taking me lots of problem but i don't want to spend another RM 80 for that.
So wasteful.
Hopefully i could pass that subject.



ADD-ON:

For god sake, i get an instant reply for my question.
I firmly make the decision.
I'm re-open my Facebook account without any hesitation.
It created at 5 a.m.
Levine... Join me.
It's kinda of loss without seeing you around in either MSN or Facebook.